Sophisticated Solutions For Difficult Divorce Issues 2025-07-10T13:33:24Z https://www.swiggartlaw.com/feed/atom/ WordPress /wp-content/uploads/sites/1602874/2021/08/cropped-favicon-32x32.png by Carolyn C. Swiggart, Attorney At Law https://www.swiggartlaw.com/?p=46080 2025-07-10T13:33:13Z 2021-08-10T19:31:47Z

Both sides want to avoid litigation.

Both sides have confidence in their knowledge of their assets, income, and debt.

Both sides want to work towards an amicable resolution of child parenting and support issues.

Both sides want a fair result.

Mediation is an excellent way of settling a couple’s property, income, debts, and children’s issues with dignity, integrity, and privacy. It’s accomplished through directed conversations with both parties and the mediator. Each party must provide financial and other pertinent information when requested. An experienced mediator will know what information to elicit and how to best present it for discussions concerning division, taxation, and valuation. The mediator is a neutral party, and doesn’t “take sides.” A mediator can point out to both parties when things seem to be biased one way or the other, and seek to reset the process on a more balanced footing. Drafting the separation agreement requires skill, knowledge, and experience. Each party is advised to have separate lawyer (“review counsel”) to analyze the separation agreement in that client’s best interests and to advise accordingly. Some mediations are done quickly; others take more time. It depends on the circumstances and what the parties want. Learning to work and bargain with your ex-spouse or partner are skills that every party with children must acquire—because you will be dealing with the other parent of your children for a long time. Mediation is the wrong platform if there are power struggles over money and control, or if one or both parties are bent on revenge. Mediation won’t work if there is no trust left between the parties. It is important to choose a mediator who is experienced in matrimonial law in order to have the important issues brought out and fairly negotiated. Attorney Carolyn Swiggart has over 30 years’ experience as a family lawyer and is also certified mediator.]]> by Carolyn C. Swiggart, Attorney At Law https://www.swiggartlaw.com/?p=46078 2025-07-10T13:33:18Z 2021-07-14T19:26:23Z

Nobody is “taken to the cleaners.” No matter how badly the other party has behaved, a judge will not leave a party with basically nothing (assuming the parties previously enjoyed a reasonable life style). The theory is that it takes two people to have a marriage, and two people to end it; it is rare to find one spouse totally surprised by the divorce. There are very few instances where a court will sanction “revenge” against a party. This does not mean that every property and income division will be 50-50, but it certainly will not be 90-10. The division of income, assets and liabilities depends on the nature, amounts, needs of the parties, and other factors. Each divorce is unique, and the result must be “fair and equitable” in order to be approved by a judge.

The other parent will not take the children away. The law protects the rights of a child to each parent, and the rights of each parent to each child. Parenting plans set forth each child’s residence, parenting time, vacations, and activities. Relocation of one parent from Connecticut can be an important issue to resolve. Of course, a parent’s problems with substance abuse, illness, criminal record, etc., will influence the terms of a parenting plan. Generally speaking, most divorcing couples do their best to make their children’s lives as good as possible.

“Barracuda” lawyers are (fortunately) becoming an endangered species. The image of a “barracuda” is a lawyer who makes unreasonable demands on the other side, doesn’t give an inch, and generally makes life miserable. The truth is that just about any lawyer can be a “barracuda”—all it takes is a lot of money for legal fees. The only way a “barracuda” can intimidate the other side is to refuse to negotiate and threaten to litigate every single issue in court. You will have to go to court a couple of times. Upon arrival at court for Short Calendar to have a motion heard, the procedure is to first go to Family Relations to attempt mediation, and if unsuccessful, then take the matter before the judge. You may not reach a judge that day. Your motion might be postponed for a month or more. When the motion is finally litigated, and you may have to wait four (4) months for a decision—and maybe the problem has resolved itself by then. The “barracuda” doesn’t win every court decision—it’s the unreasonableness and intimidation that make the reputation. Each court date requires preparation by each lawyer, which is expensive, as is the actual time spent in court. After two or three billings for trips to court and months of waiting on a decision, most couples see the wisdom of thoughtful and reasonable negotiation.

Lawyers can be tough and work hard for their clients, but the good ones take reasonable positions to solve their clients’ problems and thereby achieve good and lasting results.]]> by Carolyn C. Swiggart, Attorney At Law https://www.swiggartlaw.com/?p=46076 2025-07-10T13:33:24Z 2021-06-10T19:24:53Z

In theory, yes—you can represent yourself in your divorce. But should you? The following are my thoughts on whether or not you should retain a lawyer:

1. Not much to split up. Self-representation may work well for you if you and your spouse are W-2 employees or unemployed, have few assets, and no minor children. Self-representation may also be appropriate for those with very short marriages and no children.
2. Mediation. Self-representation is often done with mediation clients, but lawyers are usually involved as the mediator and as review counsel. Because mediated agreements are essentially written contracts, parties are well-advised to have them written and reviewed by a lawyer. It can be difficult, if not impossible, to change incorrect terms once the agreement is made an order of the court.
3. Minor children. You and your spouse will have frequent contact with each other for many years if you have children. This is not always easy when money is tight or emotions run high. A lawyer can give invaluable guidance as to what the courts consider to be in the best interests of the children, and provide a layer of insulation between you and your spouse.
4. Closely-held business. Valuation of a closely-held business and forensic accounting is extremely difficult to do by a self-represented party, especially in a litigated matter.
5. Non-qualified retirement assets. Treatment of sophisticated assets, including valuation, is not something most parties should attempt without counsel. The consequences of “getting it wrong” are substantial.
6. Litigation. Lawyers are trained in civil procedure and evidence— you’re not.

An ethical, experienced matrimonial lawyer will save you and your family money, frustration, and continued strife. Attorney Swiggart knows how to draft the important documents that will control your financial lives for years to come. Skill at litigation is derived through years of experience, and negotiation is an art that only some lawyers will master. Attorney Swiggart has over 30 years’ of experience as a family lawyer. Most of all, experienced matrimonial lawyers know what you are going through, and Carolyn Swiggart knows how to obtain the results that you want.]]>